Take the ready for friends test to see if you are good at choosing friends. Not all friends are created equal. Some lift us higher but others bring us down.
Importance of choosing friends
Sometimes choosing friends who end up not being a good influence on us has to do with our own self-esteem. Our self-worth is reflected in the company we keep. Do you take a lot of crap from other people? Do you make yourself available to those who might be inclined to take advantage?
It is true that forgiveness and loyalty factor in when considering the goodness of a person. But also, your willingness to settle when it comes to your social contacts and relationships has to do with how you feel about yourself. Believe it!
“One strike and you’re out” typically does not apply in real-life friendships, although a lot of people like to put on a big front and pretend that it does. Usually, it takes a few problematic situations before we decide to drop a friend and go no contact. Sometimes we can go years and even decades letting other people walk all over us until we finally learn the lesson we need to move on and grow.
This has to do with being too trustworthy and letting people take advantage because we want to be liked and needed. The result is codependent relationships with people who use us for what we give them. You don’t have to physically give someone anything to still end up being used by them. How so?
You might end up giving them your energy. Perhaps when you get together with this person, they dominate the conversation and only talk about themselves. Or maybe they rank as a fair-weather friend who only comes to you when they have a problem that you can maybe fix. Perhaps they rely on you too heavily for emotional support, yet never offer anything in return.
The Ready for Friends Test
So ask yourself this set of quick questions to see how likely you are to get rid of toxic people and make the way for good friends to bring their positive influence, good fortune, and blessings into your life.
How many times will you tolerate a friend taking advantage of you before you begin to back away from the friendship?
Think about the last time you really needed to talk to a friend. You had to think of someone to turn to. Were you able to come up with a trustworthy person that you could lean on in your time of need?
Think back to a friend who was a jerk. Maybe they were always putting others down or maybe they like to call names or criticize excessively. How often were you willing to be with this person and let them influence you in your life?
When high-maintenance friends come calling, do you go along with whatever they propose, even if in the back of your mind it’s against your good judgment?
When you think of cutting the cord on friendships that no longer serve you, how does it make you feel?
What else might you do with your time once you manage to free yourself from people who do not bring something positive to your life?