People who leave controlling relationships become more clear and strong in their sense of self.
While you’re in a relationship with someone who is controlling, you can feel your very self slipping away as this person slowly but surely takes over every aspect of your life. This is bad news for your mental health while it’s happening. The good news is that once you recognize it, you can take steps to leave. And once you leave, you can transcend your former existence and become more clear and strong in your sense of self than you possibly ever have in your entire life.
You can think of it as a breakdown and rebuilding of your personal constitution. How does this work?
You’ll gain wisdom and foresight.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you’ll have the foresight that you lacked before. Going forward, the signs will be VERY clear to you. You’ll take notice of those red flags of a controlling partner when they come up again. This is the insight you need not make the same mistakes as before.
You’ll rediscover YOU.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you can reacquaint with those parts of your personality that you temporarily lost. Things like your sense of humor, activities, things that bring you joy, and living in support of your values can once again be a part of your life.
You’ll find your voice again.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you’ll discover (or rediscover) your voice and begin to use it. You’ll have a full understanding of the dire importance of saying no. You’ll be stronger in your convictions and able to express them with ease. You will be more likely to speak up on matters that are important to you.
You’ll have stronger boundaries.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you’ll be better at enforcing and defending your own boundaries. You’ll know when to say yes, and you’ll master the art of saying no when necessary.
You’ll know peace.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you’ll find peace in being with just yourself. It won’t be necessary to throw yourself into living for another person. Instead, that person you’ll be living for will finally be you.
You’ll find your tribe.
Once you’re out of the controlling relationship, you’ll get good at weeding out people in your life who don’t support you. You won’t stress over what people think, and you’ll no longer compromise your values just to be agreeable or a pleaser.
You’ll sleep well again.
Once away from the controlling person, you’ll sleep more deeply and peacefully than you have in years. And you won’t stress over the small stuff.
After leaving a controlling person, a great wave of relief washes over you. The tug of war that marked your relationship dynamic will be gone, and you’ll find great relief in being yourself once again.
In the absence of stress and a daily struggle to assert yourself, you can finally relax with all of your being. You’ll enjoy deep, restful sleep and get to be fully present in the moment.