If you frequently find yourself embroiled in angry moments, you might want to seriously sit down and ask yourself why. Of course, we all feel angry from time to time. Each day, you may find one or two things that get you a little bit worked up.
Maybe it’s another harried morning and you’re worried about being late for work when someone cuts you off in traffic. Maybe the wait staff forgot to bring syrup with your waffles and no one’s been back to your table for 15 minutes. We all get a little ticked off from time to time.
What irritates you?
If you find yourself getting irritated on a regular basis, you should take a moment and ask yourself why. Sure, we all get irritated now and then. You may come across one or two things that irritate you daily.
It could be another hectic morning, and you’re worried about being late for work when someone in cuts you off during your commute. Maybe you’re about to eat at a restaurant and realize they didn’t give you silverware and no one has returned to your table in 15 minutes. From time to time, we’re all a little irritated.
When irritation graduates to anger
But there is a big difference between these mini flare-ups of frustration as opposed to daily surges of rage that boil up inside of you for seemingly no reason, raise your blood pressure, and make you say and do things that you may regret after the fact.
You may be well aware of what you feel angry about and why. Some people are very in tune with their own emotions. Things happen in life and we just feel really let down and frustrated. It could be about anything, really.
Maybe you graduated college, are struggling to find a new job, and feel confined while stuck living in your parents’ home. Maybe they condescend and belittle you. You’re forced to live by their rules which don’t suit you as a grown adult who had been living on your own for some time prior to this. For sure, that will make you feel angry.
Or maybe you were in a long-term relationship and your partner decided to break it off with no warning. That can certainly cause great pain and a huge blow to the ego, not to mention loneliness and sadness.
Some people refuse to feel sad or bereft over the loss of someone to who they felt a deep love and attachment. Instead of giving themselves the gift of tearful release, they instead choose to hold in their emotions which grow like a mushroom cloud. Sadness becomes anger. You feel indignant, betrayed, and vengeful.
This is normal. It’s what happens sometimes when someone hurts us, whether intentional or not. Our ego takes a hit and we lash out in defense of ourselves.
But even so, just because we faced a circumstance that legitimizes angry feelings, it doesn’t mean that we should be taking out those feelings on the people around us. It also doesn’t mean that we should be holding in those feelings and doing damage to ourselves internally.