Stooping to a controlling person’s tactics will only take you further from who you are.
If you’ve been in a relationship with someone who is controlling for some time, then you may realize that you’ve changed as a result of their influence, and not in a good way.
Controlling People Look At Life Differently
The thing with people who have controlling tendencies is that they don’t play the game of life quite the same as others might.
Where you may have some kindergarten rules implanted in your brain for how to conduct yourself, the controlling person is likely to embrace an entirely different set of personal standards. It’s not obvious at first. But the more you get to know them on a personal level, the more you will recognize this about them.
Also, as mentioned, if you live by a set of rules such as honesty, making good on your promises, doing your best, being kind, not judging, and these types of values… a controlling person is likely to know this about you and use it to their own advantage.
Two Ways To Deal With Controlling People
Once you realize this, you’ll begin to understand that you have two choices for dealing with controlling people. One, if you intend to do ego battles with them, which will be the case for pretty much every scene… you’ll have to lower the personal standards by which you live. And two, which is the far more likely scenario… you can decide that dealing with them is a huge waste of your time which also takes you farther and farther away from the person you hope to be.
How to Get Away From Their Negative Influence
After all, who would knowingly compromise their own set of values just to compete with someone who would easily dominate and use them? Nobody! This is why when you play with controlling types, you either exhaust yourself trying to stand up to them on a daily basis or lose yourself in the process. And since the loss of your own self is hardly worth the presence of a dominating force in your daily life, the best thing to do if you’re with a controlling person is to get out!
A simple, 4-step plan to escape a controlling person:
So, the original question was, what to do if you can’t handle being with a controlling person? Here are your 4 steps to take today:
- Come to terms with your inability to deal with this person who tries to control you.
- Take a quick assessment of who you were before you two met and started a relationship.
- Decide that you are no longer willing to sacrifice your most precious traits and gifts.
- Make a plan to sever ties.