Arguments are common when people disagree with each other. The more difficult person often has a hard time to stop arguing, compromising, and can be downright combative. Is there someone in your life who you consider difficult? Do you always seem to be arguing with that person? It seems that the more intimate the relationship with a high maintenance personality, the more likely they are to get on our nerves.
If you find yourself constantly arguing with a difficult person and want to know how to stop, it is possible but not easy. It seems that the more of a backbone you show to stop other people from walking all over you, the more likely you are to be in the middle of an argument with a difficult person.
Here are 3 strategies to stop an argument with a difficult person in its tracks.
- Fold your arms in front of you to signal that it’s time for the argument to come to an end.
- Tell the difficult person that you don’t want to discuss it anymore
- Walking away and don’t engage them in an argument.
The difficult person may claim that YOU are the difficult one, and they will inform you of such. This is because individuals who are extremely self-centered do best when partnered or teamed up with someone who is more of a giver than a taker — someone who prefers a background role will sacrifice their own needs to put the other person first and isn’t likely to make waves. If a difficult person is with someone who makes them fight for the limelight or counter-attacks them, then they are very likely to escalate the situation in their need to always dominate.
Many “difficult” people resort to extreme nastiness including throwing tantrums, name-calling, socially ostracizing, or other ways that they can exert control over the person that they’re dealing with who might be doing something like actually standing up for themselves. If you would like to remove yourself from the dynamic of constantly arguing with a difficult person, you have two choices of what you can do. One, you can just decide that even if your difficult friend, partner, or family member gets their way, it doesn’t really matter. You’re comfortable in a meek position and think it’s best to steer clear of drama.
This may work out for you in the beginning because it will “feel” like you and said diva person are getting along better than ever. However, what’s actually happening is that you’re losing your own sense of self. In time, this may lead to a feeling that you have lost all control of your own life. You may lose confidence, feel depressed, and look around to realize that who you are and what you value have almost entirely disappeared from your life.
The more effective way to end the endless arguments that occur when you’re paired off with a difficult person is to terminate the relationship. If it’s someone you’re dating, this is your best bet to get yourself unhooked from what could be a lifetime of misery should you have decided to marry and have children with this person. However, if said difficult individual is already your wife or husband, then you have a long way to go toward making the permanent changes needed to break free from said high maintenance, self-centered, difficult person. In the meantime, while you’re preparing to develop your exit strategy and say your permanent goodbye to this person, you may wonder how to keep arguing to a minimum. Try the following:
Limit conversations that you have with the difficult person. Let them do most of the talking. Keep your own stories and plans something of a secret.
Beat the difficult person at his or her own game. This means to treat them the way that they treat you. This basically involves saying one thing and doing another, changing the plan out of nowhere, pretending that you don’t remember certain things, and basically reverse crazy-making on them.
This is likely to produce an outraged reaction from them. Be prepared for an extra lot of conflict, and if you can keep this up, it may eventually wane to less conflict. But also know that if it’s not in your nature to behave in a narcissistic fashion, then this strategy will probably cause you to feel really bad about what’s happening. You might even cause a stir among your social circle, should your resident difficult person decide that they are now going to openly complain about your behavior to others in their need to control.